The Ashes Chronicles
First Test Day 1 Perth
When I finally fell asleep somewhere around 3 a.m. Australia were already in trouble.
Considering the reason for this was England’s bowling, I don’t think much needs to be said.
This isn’t a sledge against England’s bowling. Far from it. They were exceptional and I hated every second of it. Considering how biased I am against them that really is the biggest compliment I can pay.
It is a sledge however against their batting. The reason Australia’s post tea floundering with bat in hand is so frustrating is England started the day batting themselves.
The fact Australia were batting not just after tea, but well before says all it needs to about England’s performance against the hosts’ bowling attack.
An attack missing Captain Pat Cummins and Josh Hazelwood who have taken 604 test wickets between them. An attack who’s first change bowler, Brendan Doggett, is making his Test debut for Australia.
This is the most nervous I’ve felt about the Australian bowling attack before an Ashes since the 2017/18 Ashes.
And I will admit, when Mitchell Starc didn’t take a wicket with the first ball of the series vis-a-vis the 2021/22 Ashes I was disappointed.
Like Bart Simpson, I am figuratively standing in front a chalkboard writing “I will not doubt Mitch Starc.”
Once again, he took a wicket in the first over of a test match. It’s the 24th time, the most since his debut and only five less than second and third combined in that period of time.
England blitzed along to 33/1 before Starc got Duckett in the seventh over then Joe Root for a duck in the ninth. England had lost three wicket for 39 runs, all to the big left handed quick. It was heavenly to watch.
Ollie Pope and Harry Brook quelled the tumbling of wickets with a 55 run partnership in 66 balls (lightning by test cricket standards) before local boy Cam Green trapped Pope leg before wicket in his only over of the day.
England went into lunch at 105/4.
Starc got the ball after the break and England Captain Ben Stokes was quickly sent back to the pavilion. The tourists were in a whole heap of trouble at 115/5.
Another speedy partnership, this time Brook and wicketkeeper Jamie Smith smashed 35 runs in 29 balls. Brook brought up his maiden 50 in Australia before debutant Doggett dismissed him three balls later and England had lost their sixth wicket for 160 runs.
Two balls later Starc had his fifth wicket. Not satisfied with five, after Doggett dismissed Gus Atkinson, Starc got the last two wickets in consecutive balls to end England’s innings at 172. They’d lost their last five wickets for 12 runs.
Even better, they’d only batted for 32.5 overs (197 balls) meaning the Australian quick bowlers weren’t taxed physically. Brilliant when you’re set to play five test matches in seven weeks.
Starc’s career best figures of seven wickets for 58 runs had only cost him 12.5 overs (77 balls). That’s barely more than a One Day International quota for a bowler.
The day couldn’t have started better. It couldn’t have ended worse.
Because of time spent off the field due to back spasms while Australia was bowling, Usman Khawaja wasn’t allowed to open. Bad. Particularly considering the left hander has been the hosts’ main stay opener in recent times.
Worse when you consider the opening pair without the veteran.
Jake Weatherald, who faced the first two balls of the innings to a disastrous outcome, is also making his test debut and Marnus Labuschange was dropped from the team in their last series after quite a poor run of form in an Australia shirt.
It will not shock you to know the pair’s first attempt at a partnership went predictably poorly. Weatherald was literally floored when Jofra Archer released a thunderbolt that met his front pad in double quick time.
The rest of the world, umpire included, thought the ball had pitched (landed) outside of leg stump but Archer was adamant, and proven right after England reviewed.
Ok. Bad start, here comes Khaw… nope. Not enough time had passed to make up for the opener’s time off the field so instead out walked stand in captain Steve Smith.
Full disclosure. Steve Smith is my favourite player. He was the biggest reason my fears about the bowling attack in 2017/18 weren’t sky high. At the time if he got off the mark you could almost pencil in a century and he was so incredibly solid when watching.
He’s not the same player today, as much as I wish it, so watching him bat makes me very very nervous. There’s no one I’d rather watch bat but simultaneously I hate watching Smith bat. Every swing, miss, edge or shot in the air makes me cringe.
Anyway. Smith coming in after two balls used to be no worries, last night I was worried.
But Smith and Labuschange survived, by the grace of whichever higher power they subscribe to.
And this is where we return to the England bowling attack. They were brilliant. Their lines were good, their lengths were good and their pace was quick. Archer and Mark Wood consistently hit over 150 km/h while Atkinson and Ben Carse were hovering around 140 km/h and the Australian batters struggled.
To be fair to the pair they survived the next 9.4 overs to get to tea but after ten overs (60 balls) Australia had only scored 15 runs.
Then the wickets began to fall.
Labuschange had a ball hit his elbow then hit the wicket before Smith was squared up and caught in the slips in the next over. Kawaja, who finally entered when Labuschange fell, followed shortly after leaving Australia at 31/4.
Sinking.
Before I get to the rest of the inning, I want to highlight Labuschange and Smith. Despite scoring very slowly the pair faced 41 and 49 deliveries respectfully, the third and second most by an Australian and the fifth and fourth most so far in the match, in what I would consider, by far the toughest conditions.
Despite falling for little, they survived enough to give Australia’s lower order a chance to play in easier conditions. I’m not saying the top order’s collapse was good. Not at all. I’m saying it could’ve been far worse.
Back to the pain.
The last thing I remember is Travis Head and Cam Green at the crease with the score at 41/4.
When I woke up this morning and checked the score, I was glad I fell asleep.
I haven’t looked at the next five wickets on purpose but from what I’ve read on Twitter or heard from the Australian podcast I listened to, Ben Stokes’ five wickets in six overs was more about bad Australian batting than good bowling. And I’m glad I didn’t see them because I would’ve been enraged.
Australia ended the day’s play at 123/9. They trail England by 49.
The person I feel worst for is Mitch Starc. On a day when he took seven wickets, he not only had to bat later that afternoon, he’s already gotten out and will have to bowl before lunch tomorrow. And right now his seven wickets are being treated like an afterthought.
What are we doing lads.
19 wickets fell on day one. If anything close to that happens tonight I hope those people who have day four and day five tickets didn’t need that money.