Week 14 Thoughts
"If this happens and that happens... there's a chance." It's that time of year.
Yes that is the sound of trumpets you hear in the background.
The triumphant trumpets at Jericho while the walls of the city come crashing down.
The city of course metaphorically representing Mother’s dominance over the course of this season and the trumpets representing the success of Brother and I over her for consecutive weeks.
We will gladly accept your applause good people.
We even managed it before Sunday Night Football when you could apply the opening metaphor to the result of that game. No spoilers but the trumpets are beginning to blare around the leage.
The Downtrodden are now the Down Slightly Stepped On.
To the games.
Cowboys 30 Lions 44. We started off with a bang because Mother took the Cowboys. Which was fair enough. Then this turned into what has been the typical Dallas big game performance over the years. Detroit took a lead, made it big and every time the Cowboys threatened to make it a game, the Lions scored again. It’s what made Dallas’ win over the Chiefs so surprising to me. Amazingly, considering their abysmal start to the season, the Cowboys aren’t out of the division fight. Detroit continued their remarkable streak of not losing consecutive games since 2022, a stat I didn’t know before that game. Luckily I trusted them without it.
Titan 31 Browns 29. As truly terrible loss for Cleveland for two reasons. A) losing to the Titans is embarrassing. They literally had one win before this and it was the worst loss of the year from the Cardinals. Which brings us to B) the worst two point attempt you’ve ever seen. Which begs the question. What’s worse? The Titans can only win games when their opponent throws up all over themselves? Or two teams have played such rubbish that they’ve lost to the Titans. A reminder this team lost to the Raiders.
Seahawks 37 Falcons 9. I have to pose a question that is going to make my coworker very unhappy. What do we know about Sam Darnold? When the lights are low he balls out. Another three touchdown day from Seattle’s quarterback in a one o’clock game. And when the lights are turned on? See Rams Seahawks or the Vikings last two games last year. So I ask, and this in good faith I promise, especially because of who the Seahawks played. Is Sam Darnold the new Kirk Cousins?
Colts 19 Jaguars 36. The Colts ship is sinking rapidly. They’re going to miss the playoffs unless by some miracle Jonathan Taylor gets adequate quarterback play from Phillip Rivers. Yhup, you read that right. Indy basically needs to go 3-1 to get into the playoffs. Look at their schedule. They play two of the good NFC West teams and the Jags and Texans. 0-4 is on the cards. The Jags are in the driving seat for the division but the Texans are on their heels. I hold my hands up to the AFC South. Quite serious.
Commanders 0 Vikings 31. Didn’t see this coming. The Vikings winning wasn’t that surprising itself, Washington has been way worse than expected, it was how Minnesota won. A 31 point shut out win is a drubbing. On top of that J.J. McCarthy played… quite well? Three touchdowns and no interceptions would say yes. This is the Minnesota formula. Very good defense plus quarterback no one trusts to play the position well equals wins.
Bengals 34 Bills 39. Two plays. Bad plays. Consecutive plays. Joe Burrow was absolutely carving up the Bills vaunted pass defense in the snow. His three touchdowns had Cincy up 28-25 with five and a half minutes left in the fourth quarter and they had the ball. I thought it was big donzo hours. Then he threw a pick six, and when he got the ball again threw another pick on his next throw. Bad. Worse yet, the guy who plays QB for the Bills is pretty good himself. Having already run in a 40 yard TD in the quarter, Josh Allen threw his third of the day to put Buffalo up 39-28. Burrow would get his fourth touchdown but Cincy’s defense let Allen scramble for 17 yards to seal the game. The Bengals playoff dream is on life support. The Bills should be licking their lips looking at the AFC.
Saints 24 Buccaneers 20. Bad team plays good team and good team… LOSES???????. I guess historically the Saints own the Bucs, à la Tom Brady’s Superbowl Bucs getting swept during the season by the Saints. But surely you can’t lose to this Saints team. If the Bucs lose this division, they’re no longer leading, it will be very very embarrassing. They were 6-2. I have no thoughts on the Saints.
Steelers 27 Ravens 22. An enormous result within the AFC North. The Ravens can point to bad refereeing calls but also they gave up 27 to the Steelers. Both these teams know they hold their playoff destinies in their own hands because of the week 18 matchup but the Raven’s schedule is significantly tougher. Also, I must be fair. I’ve labelled Pittsburgh frauds and I stand by that. However, the Baltimore hasn’t played good football since they beat the Bears. That was week 8. You all know my hope is both these teams fail and the Bengals win the division.
Dolphins 34 Jets 10. My coworker sent me a meme. Tua Tagovailoa had never won a game played below 4 degrees Celsius (40 degrees Fahrenheit). 0/8. On the other hand he had never lost to the Jets. 7/0. Something had to give. Make that 8/0 against New York’s finest.
Broncos 24 Raiders 17. The game we were hoping for when we got this on Thursday Night Football weeks ago. Even then, looking at the final score you’d say winning by only a touchdown is cutting it close when your opponent is the Raiders. The Broncos matched the Patriots 10 game win streak and there’s more good news for Denver. This win ensures they will be seeded higher than the New England if both teams finish with the same record. The fight for the number one seed is going to be great.
Rams 45 Cardinals 17. Every week when I write about the Rams I say the same thing. Matt Stafford threw for multiple touchdowns and the Rams are a WAGON. He made sure last week’s loss looks like a massive aberration with his three tuddies and another blowout. I also say the same thing about the Cardinals. Being the far and away worst team in the NFC West is basically a humiliation ritual. They’re 0/5 in division and have given up more than 40 to each of their division opponents. Their last game of the season is at the Rams. Hopefully LA has the one seed wrapped up and rests a bunch of players.
Bears 21 Packers 28. I BELIEVE IN BIG PACK. And I was wrong about the Bears. Don’t get me wrong, I still want them to be frauds. Yet, after Green Bay broke the 21-21 tie with a touchdown, I was certain Chicago was going to drive the ball down the field. They did just that. The game ending interception was brutal and I would like more of those please. Also brutal, the Bears dropped from one seed to the seventh seed. Just like that the Packers are the second seed and nobody wants to go to Lambeau in January. If Jordan Love keeps up his last two weeks of play this team has an NFC Championship Game floor. I’m getting sucked in again.
Texans 20 Chiefs 10. A very impressive win for Houston. Especially because they only played offense for one half. The Chiefs defense in the second half could’ve stopped Genghis Khan, such was their ferocity. This game felt exactly like Eagles Packers and Eagles Lions where eventually the most experienced team figures it out. And normally the Chiefs do. These are no longer the ‘normal’ Chiefs. The mistakes they made on Sunday Night have become more and more common this year and came in the biggest moments. Like their nemesis Cincinnati, Kansas City’s season has a pulse but barely. The Texans defense continues to be absolutely terrifying.
Eagles 19 Chargers 22. Last week I thought the Eagles would win. Then I heard Justin Herbert had broken his left hand and had surgery on it. Yeah, Philly may walk over LA. So I was amazed as I watched Herbert stiff arm an Eagles defender with his broken hand and make plays with his legs to put together a game tying drive then a game winning drive in overtime. Yet Philly should’ve won this game. I was furious when the Chargers gave the Eagles a new set of downs late in OT. Then absolutely gob smacked by the interception to end the game. That’s three consecutive losses for the Eagles. Surely this isn’t 2023 again. Right?
Brother has pointed out the NFL is clearly not thinking clearly. This weekend we’re getting Ravens @ Bengals, Chargers @ Chiefs and Bills @ Patriots ALL at 1 o’clock on Sunday. The Sam Darnold, window if you will.
Meanwhile Sunday Night is Vikings @ Cowboys, which could be good, depending on which version of each team shows up. There is no chance Dolphins @ Steelers on Monday Night will be any good and if the Original Mr. One O’Clock Window, Kirk Cousins, is playing for the Falcons tonight, I doubt this game will be very good.