Week 3 Thoughts

My impressions on last week's games in the NFL.

Thursday night I checked the score at half between the dreadful Dolphins and the, at the time, unbeaten Bills and my knee jerk reaction to seeing 14-14 was THE DOLPHINS????????????. I just watched that team play, and lose, a wretched game against my Patriots (we’ll get to them) and Buffalo would be killing New England.

Somehow I was less surprised when the score read 21-21 only for my brother to report the Bills had punted the ball to Miami. Mild concern. Anyway, the Dolphins did a dumb thing, took a roughing the kicker penalty, and gave Josh Allen (he’s pretty good) the ball back.

Buffalo’s still undefeated and the Dolphins are winless. That’s about right.

Every week my youngest brother, my mother and I pick the games, and I will be using these weekly breakdowns to expose their bad takes and very occasionally praise their good ones.

First bad one. They both took the Bengals to beat the Vikings. I did too but that is of no importance. My reasoning was the Vikings got smacked by the Falcons (which looks horrible given the Falcons result this week) and the Bengals managed a win in their last game despite losing Joe Burrow.

I was very worried about the Vikings defense showing up but I figured they hadn’t against the Bears or the Falcons so I should be fine.

They showed up in a big way I fear. Two interceptions and three fumbles worth of showing up. And with every added score I watched my very logical and reasonable pick go up in flames.

My mother and brother? They simply do not know ball.

This weekend was truly an awful slate to pick.

Texans Jags. No thoughts really, other than I picked the Jags and got that right.

Colts Titans. How bad are the Giants? Last year Saquon Barkley left New York and immediately rushed for 2000 yards. This year, Daniel ‘Indiana’ Jones, who may have the coldest nickname of any current football player, has lead the Colts to a 3-0 start and they’ve punted once. That’s ridiculous.

Raiders Commanders. How my brother picked the Raiders in this game after watching them on Monday night is beyond me. The kid had a really rough week.

Rams Eagles. The Rams were killing the Eagles and then Philadelphia remembered throwing the football is not only legal but an acceptable way to play the sport. Also Philly managed to block two field goals and my brother (a Rams fan) decided the league was rigging games. To be fair to him, it was either the fourth or fifth blocked kick in the one o’clock window so plenty of supporting evidence for his case.

Falcons Panthers. The only person I know who would’ve picked the Panthers is my boy at work and it’s for the sole reason he’s praying on Michael Penix’s downfall because he loves Kirk Cousins (I don’t understand it either). And down Penix fell. Two picks and shut out by Carolina is real low.

Steelers Patriots. Or rather the Pittsburgh Sleepers v. the New England Penalties. I’m not going to complain about the refs (they suck, they always have) because the Patriots tried so hard to lose this game. This felt like the opposite of last week.

They went down two touchdowns then the offense started cooking. But a pick in the endzone, followed by a fumble over the goal line, and another fumble after forcing a punt literally took points off the board. The Pats could’ve easily won this game and be 2-1. They could also very easily be 0-3 if one Dolphins player hadn’t stepped out of bounds last week.

Also the Steelers are a very mid team, T.J Watt and Cam Heyward aside.

Packers Browns. I am a huge believer in Big Pack, as I’ve been calling them since last year. Two weeks in and I had them right alongside the Eagles at the top of the NFC. I thought them the best team in their division, my coworker thought I was reaching.

Yhup, I was reaching. I can’t have you at the top of the conference if you give up 13 unanswered points to the Browns to lose a game. All in the fourth quarter by the way. The very Cleveland Browns who lost to the Bengals on opening day.

Why does that matter I hear you asking. Two things you have to know about the Bengals.

One. Before January 2024 they’d lost six of seven to the Browns. To their credit they’ve now won four straight. Two. Before this year Cincinnati was 2-6 in week 1 games, including losing their last three. And they beat the Browns this year.

The very Browns who just beat the Packers. Yuck.

Jets Buccaneers. Another game winning drive for Baker Mayfield and the Bucs but as a Pats fan my initial, dismissive reaction is… it’s the Jets. You should win that game. Still undefeated though.

Broncos Chargers. Justin Herbert is the truth. That friggin touchdown pass to tie the game with less than five to go in the fourth quarter was, pick whatever adjective you want.

Earlier in the game his running back basically died in front of him, Khalil Mack and his sling are mimicking Rob Gronkowski and his offensive line was falling apart in, yet the Chargers are 3-0 with three division wins. Yeah that guy is pretty damn good and I’m thrilled.

Also, love seeing the Broncos choke away consecutive games. More of the same please.

Saints Seahawks. Texted the group at half “The Seahawks may score 60.” They proceeded to score six more points. Disappointed.

Cowboys Bears. Admittedly picked the Cowboys because such is my lack of belief in the Bears. However after seeing Chicago hang 31 on Dallas… nothing has changed. The Bears completely collapsed against Minnesota’s tepid offense in week one and the Lions dropped 50 on them last game. They could’ve score 90 against the Cowboys and I wouldn’t change my mind.

Meanwhile, it’s a wonderful world when the Cowboys suck. Long may this continue.

Cardinals 49ers. San Fran is now 3-0 and last year they missed the playoffs which usually means this year they will be in the NFC Championship Game or the Superbowl. I don’t think that’s happening. They’ve lost Nick Bosa for the rest of the year and Mac Jones is currently their starting QB and the I, the Patriots fan, am scarred by Mr. Jones. But I’m glad to see the 9ers winning again.

Also Mum picked the Cardinals so the 9ers saved my week because we tied after Monday night’s thrashing.

Chiefs Giants. How. Bad. Are. The. Giants.

Actually, how bad are the Cowboys because how did this Giants team score THIRTY SEVEN. I watched highlights of that game and thought “damn, the Giants’ offense looks fun”. Nope, the Cowboys defense couldn’t defend… they’re so bad I can’t think of an analogy.

Back to this game, the Giants flashed competence with their touchdown drive and then reverted to type with one of the dumbest defensive sequences I’ve seen on the last drive of the half. They wouldn’t have won this game if the divine himself decreed it.

The Chiefs meanwhile looked abysmal in the first half and then, for what I watched, like world beaters in the second. Is that because they figured something out? Or is it because they were playing the Giants? Two things can be true but oh buddy do I have my assumptions.

Finally Lions Ravens

Dan Campbell loves nothing more than going for it on fourth down in a game where a field goal probably seals up the W. And I respect it so much. When it works, like on Monday, it kills the opposition. And I don’t care what the final score says, the Ravens died when the Lions went up 38-24.

Offensively Baltimore looked as good as they ever have last night. Defensively however, the Lions got what they wanted, when they wanted against them. Detroit’s good enough as it is, no need to let them walk all over you.

I am a little salty because a Ravens win would’ve sealed another week’s victory for me. Instead I’m forced to share the spoils with my beloved mother.

Like I said earlier, a brutal week for the young lad.

Till next week.