Week 4 Thoughts
Who are the serious teams in the league?
Sorry about this being so late.
It’s been a long few days and I’m barely emotionally ready for tonight’s Red Sox Yankees winner takes all game three so you can imagine my mind has not been on football.
But, as reliable as ever, this morning mother and brother made their picks for tonight’s Rams 49ers game and I realized I hadn’t done the weekly thought compilation. So here it is.
Let’s start with the really bad news. Mother won the week. Now that we’ve amply covered that, there will be no more mention of such a rather unfortunate occurrence and we can focus on the important things at hand. That is, beating her this week.
Onto the games.
Seahawks 23 Cardinals 20. These two NFC West teams went into this game, both at 2-1. They are both unserious. I know Seattle is 3-1 but they tried so hard to lose this game. They literally took six points off the board in the fourth quarter because of dumb penalties then let Arizona score two touchdowns to tie the game. I consider it nearly miraculous they managed to win. The now 2-2 Cardinals have two wins against the Panthers and the Saints, who are both terrible, and both off their losses have been game winning field goals by divisional opponents. Brutal.
Vikings 21 Steelers 24. Please put down two more marks in the unserious category. We all picked the Vikings for this game and I think it’s actually the Vikings who got this wrong, not us. Like I said last week, this Steelers team is bang average so losing to them is a rather silly thing to do. Also Minnesota, last week aside, just haven’t been good.
Commanders 27 Falcons 34. The Commanders get an exemption on the serious/unserious exam until Jayden Daniels returns. Also they still have three games against the Giants and Cowboys, so even if their record says 2-2 they’re basically a 5-2 team. Meanwhile, following his abysmal day against Carolina, Michael Penix Jr threw for 313 yards and two TDs against the Commanders. My coworker was not impressed. Luckily for his agenda, if you get shut out by Carolina you are automatically unserious.
Chargers 18 Giants 21. Last week I said the Packers loss to the Browns made them unserious and despite how much this hurts to do, I must remain consistent. The Chargers are no longer serious. Yes, I know west coast teams (Seattle aside) struggle in 1 o’clock starts on the east coast but I’m sorry. Not against the Giants. I fear the Chargers cannot return to the serious teams table unless they’re playing in the AFC Championship Game. I think you know where I have the Giants.
Titans 0 Texans 26. No notes here. When two 0-3 teams play each other someone has to win, I guess. I think the two South Divisions (AFC and NFC) are battling for more unserious division and neither of these teams is beating the unserious allegations.
Eagles 31 Buccaneers 25. Arguably the most serious team in the league, although…perhaps?…question mark? Last week Philly let the Rams get a big lead before coming back to win. This week they took the big lead then let the Bucs back into the game. I was always scolded for playing with my food. However the Eagles are one of two 4-0 teams, and having beaten a 3-0 Buccaneers team, you have to say they are the most serious. Meanwhile, losing to the defending Super Bowl champs who have won 20 of their last 21 games is no shame. Two serious teams.
Panthers 13 Patriots 42. Carolina is one of those NFC South teams I mentioned earlier. Woefully unserious. Meanwhile the Patriots have followed up each silly loss with a win where they scored 30+ points. But those were against the Dolphins and the Panthers so even the Patriots fan cannot call them serious if he himself is to be taken seriously.
Saints 19 Bills 31. I know this was fairly close fairly late but I can’t dock the Bills. They’re 4-0. And after the Charger’s embarrassing performance, the Bills hold sole possession of most serious AFC team. The Saints are an NFC South team. Enough said.
Browns 10 Lions 34. This is how serious teams handle the Cleveland Browns Green Bay. The Lions are the most serious team with a loss on their record. Since losing in week one they’ve score 52, 38 and 34. The Browns are… the Browns.
Jaguars 26 49ers 21. This is really where my week started to take a nasty turn and my mother’s week flourished. As my brother and I have heard countless times since Sunday afternoon, she swept the afternoon slate. I picked the 9ers, forgetting Nick Bosa was out. Brock Purdy and his two picks consigned me to defeat. I’m not sure if to put the 9ers in the Commanders category of serious when healthy but not healthy or the Packers/Chargers one of losing to this unserious of a team is terrible. After all, the Jags are an NFC South team. We know where those stand, Buccaneers aside.
Colts 20 Rams 27. The return of the real Daniel Jones? and the Colts are an AFC South team. Unserious. Well, not just yet. The only reason I’m holding off, for now, is I think the Rams are the most serious team in their division (because of the 9ers health). I can’t dock the 3-1 Colts too much for this loss. I am waiting with baited breath to call them unserious and officially name the AFC South the most unserious division. All in due time I suspect.
Bears 25 Raiders 24. I must be fair. I criticized my brother for choosing the Raiders last week and then, I proceeded to choose them this week. And if the Raiders weren’t so damn unserious I would’ve looked like a genius. But I will remind you, dear reader, my Raiders pick has nothing to do with the Raiders and all to do with my utter refusal to believe in the equally unserious Bears.
Ravens 20 Chiefs 37. As bad as this score line looks I think it greatly flatters the Ravens. Now, I didn’t watch this game because I was greatly annoyed at how it was going, but if Baltimore would like to learn what defense means and how to play it, perhaps they can send another application to the serious sector. Right now. Not a chance. And in a truly unexpected turn of events that no one could’ve possibly seen coming the Chiefs are once again serious. Thanks Giants.
Packers 40 Cowboys 40. I said earlier the Seahawks tried to lose their game, they didn’t try nearly as hard as the Packers. The way Green Back played the third down possession in overtime before the game tying kick was so incredibly stupid I was completely dumfounded. Also after losing to the Browns your response is tying with the Cowboys sans CeeDee Lamb? You can’t be serious.
Jets 21 Dolphins 27. Scroll back up and reread Titans Texans. Congrats to the Dolphins, I guess. Someone had to win.
Bengals 3 Broncos 28. The Bengals are seated at the Commanders table. No Joe Burrow means I feel grossly unfair in grading them. However, getting blown out in consecutive weeks by the unserious Vikings and now the Broncos is tough. And, in all fairness, Burrow getting injured is becoming a more and more common occurrence in Cincinnati. Not really sure what to make of the Broncos. They lost to the Colts and Chargers when they were serious and beat the Titans and the Bengals. I guess that makes the Broncos the most serious unserious team.
In other news of seriousness, things are ramping up in the group. Mother has changed her tune on keeping tally of who wins each which, no guesses as to why. She also outlined new rules as to when picks must be in by. (I completely forgot about the 9:30 game this week)
I’m waiting to see what those two scoundrels come up with regarding changing picks, seeing as they’ve both allowed the other to do so this season. No matter. They shall be beaten.
And because this is so late I shall tell you we’ve all picked the Rams tonight. Not that I’ll be paying much attention.
I shall be praying for Red Sox runs in Yankee Stadium.