Week 8 Thoughts
How are we halfway through the season already?
I realised last week that I had left the “thoughts” off both my Week Six and Week Seven and for that I would like to apologize to you dear readers. If I’m slacking on such arbitrary things how can my opinions be trusted.
Simple.
Once more the result from this weekend is a tie but this time it is between Mother and I. We are so back. The sad part about that is we picked the same things and based off the last five weeks of evidence that means she knows ball and I am the student.
Oh the ignominy. Could be worse though. I could’ve said “Yall can put my name on the board rn” before the games even started, then proceeded to lose. Brutal. I’ll leave you to figure out who might’ve done that.
Onward.
Vikings 10 Chargers 37. The Vikings made a game of the beat down they were receiving at the hands of the Eagles last week. They did NOT make a game of this one. Kimani Vidal had 23 carries for 117 yards and one touchdown while Justin Herbert threw three TDs and the Chargers romped this game. Kudos to Carson Wentz for playing. He’s very clearly quite badly injured and I guarantee you the five sacks the Vikings allowed didn’t help his injury. More discussion on this later but the Chargers are making the AFC West a very interesting proposition.
Dolphins 34 Falcons 10. Last week Mr. Bright Lights Michael Penix Jr. folded during a primetime game ending my hypothesis. This week Kirk Cousins loses to the Dolphins during the one o’clock window, ending my coworker’s hypothesis. Any game Tua Tagovailoa doesn’t throw a pick is a unicorn. Any game he throws four touchdowns is a UFO. He did both those things against the Falcons. I have no idea what is rare enough to compare it too. Big foot? Aliens? A Jets win?…
Bears 16 Ravens 30. Dear readers once again I come before you ashamed and embarrassed. I picked the Bears. Yes Lamar Jackson not playing was the determining factor because I obviously would’ve picked Baltimore. And yet the Bears lost. A game they held a 6-0 lead in after the first quarter. A truly pathetic loss when you look at the Ravens defense through this season. Last year the Bears started 4-2 and finished the season with five wins. This year they started 4-2 and well… Meanwhile, a great and I mean great win for the Lamar less Ravens who really should beat the hapless Dolphins tonight.
Jets 39 Bengals 38. A JETS WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0-17 is off the board and in utterly remarkable fashion. With eight minutes and 24 seconds to go in the fourth quarter the Jets trailed by 14. I have no idea how they managed to win but I think I do know why. For seven weeks my Jets fan coworker has bet on a Jets win. He didn’t this week… Do with that information what you will. On the Cincy side the high of the win over the Steelers has undoubtedly been replaced with empty disappointment because how are we giving the Jets their first win of the season guys. Very bad if you ask me.
Bills 40 Panthers 9. Good team plays bad team. Good team wins. Pretty simple. James Cook’s 19 carries for two hundred and 16 yards and two TDs for good team. Like I said. Pretty simple.
49ers 15 Texans 26. I’m putting this down to the hospital Niners finally being impacted by the fact their roster is decimated right now. Although my brother reported CJ Stroud was balling so maybe two things are true here. 30-39 for 318 yards, two TDs and one pick is a pretty good day for Stroud who has been struggling for an extended period of time.
Browns 13 Patriots 32. I was very nervous about this game. That Browns defense led by Miles Garrett is no joke. At half time I felt justified with my worry because it was a tepid half from the Patriots offense. Good news is football games are two halves and the Pats dominated the second half. Drake Maye went 8/8 for 114 yards and all three of his touchdowns after halftime and the Patriots scored 23 of their 32 points to blow the Browns out. On the Browns’ side Mr. Garrett had five sacks, his most in a game. He now has the most sacks in NFL history before the age of 30. That guy is terrifying.
Giants 20 Eagles 38. I said the Eagles were going to blow the Giants out because of the embarrassing loss from a few weeks back and if you look at the score I was right. But I can’t take credit for this because the second Cam Skattebo suffered his horrifying injury the Giants were consigned to defeat. I’m actually impressed it was only an 18 point loss.
Buccaneers 23 Saints 3. What did I say about Bills Panthers? Good team plays bad team? Yeah enough said.
Titans 14 Colts 38. Yeah this one is even more good team plays bad team. The Colts are the last real one loss team in the league (yes I know technically the Packers only have one loss) and they are destroying teams. Though thrashing the Titans is not impressive, the Raiders managed that. However another multiple touchdown game from Jonathon Taylor who has 12 carries for 153 yards and three TDs for Daniel Jones means they continue to be the cream of the AFC.
Cowboys 22 Broncos 44. I don’t know how my brother thought the Cowboys was the correct pick here. Somehow he thought Dallas would have a 25+ point lead going into the fourth because that’s the only way you can feel safe against Denver at the moment. And oh buddy did they not. Don’t get me wrong the Broncos defense tried their darndest to give the Cowboys points in the second half because some of the penalties they were taking were utterly infuriating. But Bo Nix wasn’t having it and the Broncos romped to a 22 point win, tying up the weekend in the group chat.
Which leads us to the decider.
Packers 35 Charlie Browns 25. Sorry that should read Steelers 25 but my goodness who decided to dress the Steelers up as Charlie Brown. Have they ever read Peanuts? ‘Good ol’ Charlie Brown’ is still trying to kick that football. A fact made all the funnier by Chris Boswell making all of his kicks. My brother took the Steelers and going into the fourth he looked set to win the week for the first time. Luckily for me, and unfortunately Mother too, Aaron Rodgers’ old team is better than his current team and the Packers romped to victory. Both quarterbacks were good but on National Tight Ends Day the story belongs to Packers TE Tucker Kraft with his 7 catches for 143 yards and two TDs.
This is just for my coworker because he has a friend who is a Steelers fan, and because I was never truly willing to respect the Steelers. The Steelers lost to the Bengals and the Packers, who themselves have lost to the Jets and the Browns. Which means the Jets and the Browns are better than the Steelers. I don’t make the rules.
Commanders 7 Chiefs 28. No Jayden Daniels again for Washington’s Commanders and there are now very much in trouble. The Chiefs meanwhile are in a dogfight for the AFC West. At 5-3 they sit in third behind the 5-3 Chargers and the 6-2 Broncos. History would say they are going to take the division crown yet again. But this is setting up to be an enthralling end to the season as three teams battle for a top four seed. Today all three are in the playoffs but I suspect one may miss out. Whom shall it be?
Mother thought it was important to point out her name has featured for five consecutive weeks. I quickly pointed out that ties count for naught because her head is swollen enough as is.
Although to be fair to the lady in question, her birthday was this week.
So happy birthday Mum. Your two sons hope you get every pick wrong this week. Love you lots.